146

Yesterday I got on the scale and it was 146. I remember when it used to be 160 at the start of the year. All these weeks and months later and ... progress.

I had a weird kind of worry that if I actually went down to 140 pounds (which will translate to 145 at the LA Weight Loss scale with clothes on), that I would somehow be too thin, or that I should feel ashamed of something.

Well, with six pounds to go (on this day) I still see the globs of fat that will be coming off, and with six more pounds to go I won't be too thin. I know that sounds weird, but my fat is like my security blanket, and I feel a little naked without it. In fact, at this point I am praying for strength to continue to go forward and not to be afraid. I tell myself I am normal. I am a normal weight. I am the body shape that God meant this body to have - that I am OKAY.

Exercise is ... fun. I CAN'T Believe that I talk that way! I go to a yoga class - and pray to Jesus the whole time. I don't want any weird spiritual experience other than Jesus. I wish there was a Christian Yoga class. The stretching and exercising is great as is the relaxing, but I don't want to give myself to any kind of weird, cosmic experience, so I pray to God and I stay away from weird instructors who refer to the mat at the "earth."

"Jesus: God of Creation and Maker of heaven and Earth. Jesus, You are God. Father, thank You for giving us Christ in love who redeemed us for His own. Take me and claim me and use me and this body. And bless my friend Kimber, with grace, wisdom and favor. In Jesus' name, Amen"