LA Weightloss scale: 143.8 (or was it 143.6). Home scale: 140

Well, this is it. The day that the Lord has made. It felt like it was a year ago when my scale said 160 and I knew I was slipping and had to go on another "diet," but it was actually only nine months ago tomorrow. I thought in two months time I would have things back on track... HA!

Reaching the "goal weight" wasn't that hard once I figured out what God was trying to tell me, or at least what I think that He was trying to tell me. That occurred about ten days ago or something. And that "secret knowledge" for me was, I was still reserving heart space for going to food to have a party with the god of my passions. I still held a spot it my heart for her - that alternate food-god. The one I could run to and have a chocolate party with myself and feel satisfied for an hour.

That food-god was a false god because it stole my heart but would only give pleasure for a short time but could not sustain me and only left me longing for more and more and more. The flesh is never satisfied. EVER. It is never enough cake!!! Sin is never satisfied. It is never rich enough cake! The false god only left me with dashed hopes and a life long food battle, 220 pounds, arthritis problems, acid reflux, feeling drained and looking, well, not the way I wanted to look - heck! I was feeling emabarrassed. Whether or not it was indicated for being embarrassed the way I looked I can't say, probably not, except the way I looked was a reflection of all my time I spent under the false god tree, lusting for another encounter, every two hours as my blood sugar went down and my stomach began to empty.

Giving "her" up meant giving up the turning over of my passions when I eat, particularly sugary foods. It meant eating like a grown-up, a polite girl, a person who know her manners. I let "her" (the false food-god) go and God understood my mourning and has compassion for me. Kind of like a wife who cheated on her husband, and then gave up the affair but misses the boyfriend and the husband has compassion on her grieving. That is the story of Christ and His church. The unfaithful ones are sad because they only have the Faithful Christ and He seems unsufficient for them. They are better than Him! Their lusts are being "satisfied" in sin, but God in His compassion is so full that He cares for His sheep when they wandered without a Shephard and got themselves into situations in which their lusts and passions were aroused to the point of bondage and now they suffer when they are without their fix. Suffer due to the consequenses of their own sin. Like a heroin addict in withdrawals. He cares and sits besides the one and comforts and helps. He is a faithful God. I want Him and His everlasting glory.

Day by Day by grace, another day. Amen.