"Oh no..."

So I finally made my "weigh in" to LA Weightloss, right, and the lady at the front desk calls my name because I am next to be criticized, I mean, critiqued - ahh, counseled for my, uh, "problem." I go to the scale and step on it and it says, "151.4." I hear the lady behind me announce, "Oh no." Seems I upset her day. I was up almost three pounds from before my "vacation" of two or three weeks before. (Boy, if she would have seen the scale the week before!)

So, anyway, we're sitting behind the gray fabric paneled cubical, right, and the nice woman commiserates with me with a great compassion (sarcastic…) and sneers and says, "Now you know how real people feel with real weight issues because you're all sad about gaining a couple pounds!" Well, that wasn't perhaps exactly what she said, but pretty darned close.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I am not failing more miserably at my weight loss program. I'm sorry that I am trying to be actually successful. I'm sorry that I'm not fat enough for you for me to be considered normal, but I am an uptight witch who wants a couple of vanity pounds off so she can look better in her latest fitness work out clothes. I'm sorry to "waste" your time. Let me go so you can help a real person with real issues."

Well, that isn't what I said. I said, "I used to weigh 220 pounds and had a lot of trouble for a long time getting it off."

She said either by her actual words or her expression, with new found respect, "Oh, I didn't realize."

I felt like spitting across the table and screaming, "I'm really fat, can't you see? I'm still fat on the inside! I'm OKAY with the NEW ME! Or am I? I have conflicts and issues and I am trying to get a handle on it through your help!!!! Haven't you ever heard that the sober alcoholic is not supposed to stop attending the AA meetings? I haven't forgotten who I am. I just gained 8 pounds eating an extra 2 pounds of food at a cruise for goodness sakes!"

I tried to end the meeting. She lost me and I wanted to LEAVE. But she said, "STOP! I'm not done speaking yet! S-I-T DOWN!" (A little exaggeration to make a point.)

She continued, "Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa...Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa...Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa...Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa...Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa... Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa...Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa, Blaa Blaa Blaa..."

"Can I go now?"
"Yeah, you can go now. Is there anything else you need?"
"An appointment for next week, even though I make you feel uncomfortable because, unfortunately, I have become successful with weight loss, but I have these darned 6.1 pounds to go before I die of old age and wrinkles."

Actually, she never met anyone who actually has had long term success with weight loss because of course it really can't happen...EXCEPT FOR THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHO SET ME FREE AND HEALED ME AND ENABLED ME TO BE SUCCESSFUL BY HIS POWER INSIDE OF ME.

And that's all I want to say right now. Thank you for listening. (Wink.)