Bought with a price

What should I whine and complain about today? Well, I am on a trip and don't know how much I am weighing these days. I haven't exercised in 5 days. I have not eaten caffeine, nutrisweet or concentrated sweets at all or to any reasonable degree since my last entry. I see the sugary stuff and I think how it is like heroin in my veins to me, which it really is.

What a road we food addicts are on! How did it get this way?

I do feel physically bloated. I am worried, I suppose, about getting down enough so I am not out of my goal weight range by the time that I go back to LA Weightloss in about 9 days. I am worried that I am eating too much, although I think I am doing okay, roughly.

I had an interesting little encounter the other day. I met someone during a pot luck event and they commented on what I ate and said, "that's why you are so skinny." I told her that I used to weigh 220 pounds. She said, "that is incredible," and looked a bit astonished. She asked how I did it, and I told her a little bit about my eating habits. She said, "Ohhhh..." with a disappointed look.

People don't really want to pay the price. Eating is fun. I'd "eat" too if it weren't for a few pitfalls:

-I don't like feeling controlled by something greater than myself unless it is God.
-I don't much like the way I look when I am fat. It doesn't feel like the "me" I had known and loved.
-I don't like the way the clothes don't fit right when I am fat.
-I don't like the subtle feelings of disrespect because I am not in control of what I put in my mouth. I eat in secret and the fat is out in public, on display. Being fat is an announcement of my "issues."
-I really like the way my husband likes my body now, although he has always liked me.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.
-I didn't like the fact that I was in bondage.

With love, Andrea