Wobbling?

Well, At my last check-in at LA Weightloss, I was down about 1.2 pounds and the lady was enthusiastic and supportive. She kept saying that for the amount of exercise that I do, I should be able to eat a lot more. Well, I thought so too, but the scale is the scale, and though it can be off a few pounds here and there, it isn't off by that much. Anyway, after that meeting I kind of blew my diet a little - had some cake. Found my motivation weakening.

Last night I was up really late, until 5 AM (see my other entry post - "Adventures of") and I had myself a little celebration and ate: about 2 ounces of chocolate candy, about 3/4 cup chocolate ide cream (the good stuff), about 5 tablespoons chocolate frosting and 4 oreo cookies. I enjoyed every minute and thought that there must be something physically addictive in that stuff.

Since I slept much of today, I haven't eaten much, so am hoping that abstinence will off-set the chocolate party that I had with myself.

The scale was down to 146 last week, but that was just for a moment. It has been hoovering around 147.5 these days. When my scale says about 142, I should make my goal weight of the 145 at their scale. These last weeks are difficult, but I feel like the person Paul speaks of (himself) when he says that he buffetts his body and makes it his slave. I feel like I am on some type of over-all fast under God's authority, if I may be so presumptous?

Got to exercise about 5 hours last week. Was too tired and pre-occupied to go to the gym work-out this morning, which I thought was fine under the circumstances.

Kimber, let us stay focused. It really is hard. My God be with us.

146

Yesterday I got on the scale and it was 146. I remember when it used to be 160 at the start of the year. All these weeks and months later and ... progress.

I had a weird kind of worry that if I actually went down to 140 pounds (which will translate to 145 at the LA Weight Loss scale with clothes on), that I would somehow be too thin, or that I should feel ashamed of something.

Well, with six pounds to go (on this day) I still see the globs of fat that will be coming off, and with six more pounds to go I won't be too thin. I know that sounds weird, but my fat is like my security blanket, and I feel a little naked without it. In fact, at this point I am praying for strength to continue to go forward and not to be afraid. I tell myself I am normal. I am a normal weight. I am the body shape that God meant this body to have - that I am OKAY.

Exercise is ... fun. I CAN'T Believe that I talk that way! I go to a yoga class - and pray to Jesus the whole time. I don't want any weird spiritual experience other than Jesus. I wish there was a Christian Yoga class. The stretching and exercising is great as is the relaxing, but I don't want to give myself to any kind of weird, cosmic experience, so I pray to God and I stay away from weird instructors who refer to the mat at the "earth."

"Jesus: God of Creation and Maker of heaven and Earth. Jesus, You are God. Father, thank You for giving us Christ in love who redeemed us for His own. Take me and claim me and use me and this body. And bless my friend Kimber, with grace, wisdom and favor. In Jesus' name, Amen"

The effort continues

Hi! Well, I've been feeling swamped so I've just been trying to stay focused on one thing at a time and haven’t checked in in a while. Anyway, about the subject at hand....

I had my check-in with the LA Weight Loss people and lost a whole entire 0.6 pounds in 2 weeks. Except for one 100 calorie item, I completely followed their routine. However, I guess I wasn't that precise when it came to some of the measurements....whatever.

On the good news, yesterday I found my waist! I mean, over the past few days I kind of noticed something was a little different when I put my hands on my waist. Yesterday I realized what it was! It was my waist without the band of flab layering all around it (as much). Stuff is happening.

Last week I went to bike classes followed by yoga/stretch classes (45 min plus 60 min) 3 times. This week I did a lot of housework including walking up the stairs about 40 times and moving furniture, the bike/yoga combo once and bike riding in the community. For about the first time I realized I LIKE to exercise! After YEARS of drudgery, I find I actually have come to like exercising.

This morning I was thinking that maybe I am unrealistic about thinking that I can be 145 pounds (LA Weight Loss scale - which translates to 140 pounds my scale). Or, maybe it is just going to take a while. These saddlebags on the sides of my thighs have been here for many, many, many years. This flab ring around my waist has been here for decades.....but hey, that has showed some good movement.

I was thinking that if I just don't make it to that goal mark, maybe I will "settle" for 150 pounds. Right now I am 153.6 (their scale) or my scale first thing in AM without clothes at about 148.

It is just so embarrassing not losing any weight. Oh well. I can't afford to cheat, but last PM I did eat about two cookies worth of cookie dough/choc chips I was making for my kids, but I did give away the two chocolate samples I was given at Sees chocolates earlier in the day.

The effort continues.

One more thing. What motivates me to do this is that I desire to control my body and not it to control me. I feel like when I am not giving in to my flesh with whatever it feels like doing at any particular point in time, it is like a fast for me. I feel like I understand what it means that my body and my flesh burns. My flesh burns and screams and cried out like a toddler in a crib, but me - I can overcome that through the power of Christ working through me.

Paul says, "I buffet my body and make it my slave." And, "He who has suffered in the body is free from sin in that he no longer lives out his days for his mortal flesh but for God...(paraphrase).

God bless yall.

A little struggling...

Well, this week at my check-in, I weighed no different than the week before. I thank God that I didn't gain. I am struggling going from point A to point B. "Dear Father: Make this body Your machine. Thank You for this opportunity to become like an athelete in a way - for the luxury of focusing on this thing of my body. Yet, it is important for it is Your temple of the Holy Spirit and we should be able to control our bodies, not our lusts to control us. Help me to glorify you in my body, Amen."